I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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