Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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