I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize