If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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