this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
