i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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