I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
