Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
