I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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