Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
