wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
