So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
