my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize