And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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