Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
