And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
