Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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