Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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