So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
