Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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