Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
