Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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