But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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