the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The uberlube is also flammable
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
