And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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