evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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