Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
