roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
