I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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