I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
