If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions