you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.