My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie