Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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