my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize