I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
