Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
