my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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