Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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