brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
