Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
