I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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