i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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