you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
