It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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