peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
