I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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