I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm sobbing to NWA
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
