you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize