I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize