i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
