Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
