I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just googled if crying burns calories
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
