btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
