By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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