I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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