): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
