the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
