Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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