She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize