I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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