So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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